Yeah, The Man– you know: The Government… Big Corporation… The Bank Man… Big Brother… New World Order… The Establishment… Ruling Class….. Power Elite….. The Warden. Who’s The Man?
I say that i’m The Man. I say that you’re The Man. Look in the mirror and see The Man. I believe…
The left hand of the man are the hippies, the democrats.
The right hand of the man are the religious nuts, the conservatives, the republicans.
You see, both hands each think they are different– but they really are opposite hands of the same Man. Both sides are fed by the heart and soul of the Man– each directed by the Man himself. Funny how each hand think they do things on their own…
As for me— i’ve always thought that the opposite extreme “options” were not the places I wanted to be. I’ve strived to make the middle the place to try to best balance my life. Yes….. Equally balanced in the middle and hanging loose is where i like to be.
Physically speaking, being in the middle, must make me the Dick of the Man. Yes– the Penis… As the Dick of The Man, i request that you please stroke my bald head as i preach on…
As Dick, i live my life with the hands on left and the right sides are constantly stroking me. I can’t explain why they do it, as I normally can’t stand the hippies on the left and the conservatives on the right, but they do. They both constantly inflate my head with their nonsense. They make me tough and hard– they make my blood boil. They just never leave me alone.
After some time, I can only take so much of their stroking until I explode in a rampage. Then I calm down until the next time they fuck with me.. Such is life….. Bastards….. Well, maybe i like it….
Thus are the pleasures in seeking balance in life. While some days i may swing to the left side or stand firm with a slight lean to the right, I truly seek to be a even balanced– a straight shooter.
Trips to Mexico for es quarter sticks of dynamite. A little gasoline intersection fire lit right before cars approach it. Homemade explosives. If you’re an idiot like me, fire and blowing shit up is a good way to stay healthy— that is until something blows you up, making you unhealthy.
Spotted this video online at the HAMB today, and it reminded me of one of my favorites…… The ol’ dry ice bomb.
- Fill an empty plastic 2 liter Pepsi bottle with water, to the 1/3 full level.
- Get a couple 3 inch long pieces of dry ice that will fit through bottle opening.
- Strategically place your future explosive, with the water in it.
- Carefully place the dry ice into the bottle with the water.
- Put the cap on the bottle and run for your life.
- Wait with anticipation, as the bottle pressure builds.
If you blow up your arm, you probably deserve it. Hopefully you have fun doing so.
I’m on a mission to conquer the world and prove to myself what my mindful voices have been telling me all along: I’m Your God and Savior, Scott Noteboom.
Up until now, I may have talked shit. I may have humped on your leg. Hell, i may have even punched you in the face. Lately i’ve been learning how to choke you. But now, i’ve been executing a better plan to truly submit you permanently:
1) I WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY, BY MAKING IT WORTHLESS– Eliminate the gold based monetary system, and replaced it with a fiat money system. This creates the unlimited credit creation needed to create the imaginary bubbles and false wealth to entices the sheeps confidence and encourage you all to spend more and more. This will eventually bankrupt the country and it’s people. In a fiat money system, value is based solely on confidence (fluff) and when confidence goes away, hyper inflation makes the money worthless. When the shit hits the fan, this can happen overnight. Once this occurs, we’ll come to the rescue and in turn further assume control over the flocks of sheep worldwide.
That was way too much to read, and i hated writing it. Here’s all you need to know:
One Love. One Flock…. errgghh, i mean “One People.”
People love that shit!
From now on, don’t worry about reading all this. Just cut to the cliff notes. I make it easy for you!
2) CORPORATION IS STATE– Tie all powerful business entities together via globalization. These entities can then establish control over the governments of each nation, in the interim until they can all be brought together as one international community (note that the world “communism” comes from the word “community.”) Manufacture and grow where you can exploit people the most. Encourage spending where you can exploit people into debt and false hopes. Make things “easy” on people by manufacturing simply (advanced industrialization requires unskilled workforce that don’t need pride, unlike the proud craftsman of years past.) Make shopping “easy” on people as well. Make people buy, and don’t allow them to wonder why. Mass consumerism.
The 99 cent menu!
You life is Super Sized and you are blessed by me!
3) FREEDOM OF RELIGION: I’ll create opposing arms of the same government monster for it’s people to support. Give them a left extreme and a right extreme. Give the sheep different religions. Fool them into thinking there is big differences, but in reality these “individuals” are just different arms of the same monster.
Freedom of choice.
Freedom of religion.
And I control the choices!
4) I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING: I know you love that song…. I’m going to assume control of all major publishing, media and imaging outlets. Program the people for what to believe in, where to shop, what to buy, what to be afraid of, and who to hate. Utilize trickery to make your sheep feel unique, at the same time they flock with the masses.
Freedom of speech.
On 300 channels that tell the same story!
5) YOU CAN’T MAKE MONEY UNLESS YOUR SPEND!– Fatten your flock by encouraging them to spend and spend. Make them think spending is happiness. Make the sheep all competitive with each other to have the most. This spending will encourage further debt and create temporary bubbles to entice the people to spend even more in hopes of wealth creation.
Why have money
When you buy another bottle of Cristal?
6) I GOT 56″ PLATINUM SPINNER WHEELS, SON. WHATCHU GOT?– All the sheep to collect a whole bunch of shit through consumerism. Program them to buy, and make buying what they enjoy. They dont need to enjoy what they buy, just the act of buying it. Create terrorists and monsters that risk taking awaywhat they think they love.
HERE’S THE HOOK:
Duh… y’all are sheep.
Just show ya’ a bearded scary wolf looking guy.
Maybe i’ll blow up a building or two.
7) OBAMA’S BETTER THAN YO MOMMA!– Give the people “hope” that the government can rescue the people from the problems and turn things back to the good ways they used to be. Spend. Spend. Spend. Continue to feed the corporate machines with government money– which it turn is just more debt on it’s sheep.
CAN YOU MAKE THIS RHYME:
The government is the greatest.
Hell, even a black man behind the wheel of the government could rescue you!
Damn it.. what can i say? I’m a white dude. I can’t rhyme.
COMMUNITY!– At the same time this debt further kills the monetary system, begin to establish large scale comfort feeding stations for the sheep. Government run big box company stores, government run healthcare, government run cars and all transportation, government provided housing (rent your house from the government owned banks after you repo them from the sheep,) etc. Begin to change the programming into sheep– now teaching them that for the good of community they need less.
Government cheese for everyone
Except me and a couple friends.
9) PLATINUM AMEX FOR ALL– As the sheep begin to receive more and more of the basic requirements of life from the government, increase taxes on the sheep to pay for these services. Leave no more money left over for the sheep, as they have everything they need. With no money left over, it will be easy to now eliminate the monetary system all together. Sheep will now gather their basic needs from the system, paying via their implanted electronic chip– a modern version of a branding.
DOLLA DOLLA BILLS WAS SO OL’ SKOOL:
Y’all don’t need money.
Gold is so 1980′s
Y’all gonna all get American Socialist Express Platinum cards, baby!
10) REST IN PEACE– With the sheep now under full control by the new Government system, the few, the proud, the leaders can bask as they have achieved the goals of being the God they always programmed the people to believe in.
I’ve got heaven planned out for you too.
It’s good for your back.
My game is tight. In case of challenges, i’ve also got backup plans:
A) Just in case the sheep don’t fall for the brainwashing as well as I think they will, i’m studying ways how to smoothly get weapons out of the hooves of the sheep.
I think i’ll just blame increased crime on the guns.
Pay you money to turn them in.
Maybe give you some free rent and Costco hot dogs
B) If option A doesn’t go smooth, i’ve been playing in the laboratory with some viruses that i can infect the sheep with. Something that will make them afraid of coming together to rebel. Something that will make them afraid to come together….. like a good deadly flu virus or something.
OK, my game isn’t complete yet…. My biggest fear i haven’t figured: OIL.
This damn oil shortage problem. I can’t run out of oil without having a good alternative, as I must have a truly globalized flock of sheep in order for my plan to work. My wars haven’t been working, and my games gotta step up…. I better further rally the sheep into getting what i need next………. alternative fuel that can keep the world smaller, the flocks closer, and the logistics of global socialization and community (communism) continuing to come together.
Hitler just didnt have enough vision. This is One World to control. Remember: God doesn’t discriminate.
President, and Chairman of the People
Allah, God, and your Savior Jesus Christ, Inc.
I haven’t been in the mood to scribble in my blog journal for a bit. Had a good friend die of fucking cancer, and been busy living because i’ve been reminded by death to appreciate life. Couple ramblings of what i’ve been up to:
1) I don’t write much about my work here, but i’ve been traveling a lot doing it– so it’s one of my excuses for not writing. A couple posts ago i wrote here a little about checking out the Buffalo, NY area….. well, it’s official– we’re building a data center there: Yah** plan gets approval. I’m stoked to be bringing some life back to area that’s been hurt by our countries lame sellout of manufacturing out of local communities here in the USA. The weather is also perfect for the new design we’ve been working on.
2) Look at me, playing goofy on channel 7, inventing new shit to patent and spending others millions on big toys that are fun to build. Well, i’ve been reflecting lately and thinking about a couple things:
- i’m fucking lucky… i’ve got a good team at work, fun projects, and a family that i love. remember, i’m an uneducated fuck,who comes from nothing– and i’m hanging in there pretty decently. to all my fellow losers out there…. hard work and obsession over end goals can pay off. if i can do it, you can do it twice.
- i mentioned the word “obsession” above…… well, that word is what’s fueled success and also has been my demon. i’ve got some OCD disorder (among others,) and it’s been a challenge….. like an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other— obsession can focus on good or evil….. and it has my entire life.
Speaking of obsession, i’m starting to write a new magazine article about Lee Frayer, my great-great grandfather who raced in the first Indy 500 race (among other dreamy things.) It’s going to be called “All or Nothing: The Obsessions of Living Fast & Dying Hard.” In the article, i’m suggesting the Lee lived and died by the same demons that i see in my life. It took him from nowhere to the starting line at the Brickyard & inventions galore (he invented the first V6 and other auto innovations,) on a roundtrip back to nowhere– a dance likely fueld by both OCD, self-advancement and self-destruction. Maybe i’m just carrying on an ol family tradition ? Time will tell…
Until the new article comes out, if you haven’t picked up the latest Garage Magazine check it out– it’s still in the book stores. I wrote an article in this issue on some lowrider history that i hope you like (if you don’t zz-top inspired legs always will win you over…:)
3) I finally found and bought an old house to restore (last deal fell through– but this one is better, so im stoked.) It’s a 1908 Craftsman Bungalow in downtown San Jose. Currently im serving as my own general contractor and a full rebuild has begun. Right now the interior plaster walls are all getting fixed, windows are being restored and the roof is off for replacement. I’ll do a periodic post w/ updates and pics when i get a chance w/ more time. Lot’s of work to do– hope to be living in it by Christmas. Here’s the place when we first got it:
4) More reflecting on “all or nothing”……
- i haven’t gone homeless like i want to yet, as i’ve been too busy. My friend Erich is too whipped to go with me (cheap shot to you, Mr. Pres.)
- speaking of homeless… i’ll never forget when anissa first had our daughter, sydney…. we were flat broke, thrown out of our rental house and had to work our ass off every day to scrape enough cash to pay for a motel room to stay at. We survived. i also remember having no cars and anissa walking 5 miles through the snow w/ sydney in a stroller to get herself to work….. that sounds about as ridiculous as the old “walk 5 miles in the snow to school” story– except we had the pleasure of living it.
How did we end up homeless / carless during those times…… well, i was trying to make a business succeed, and it wasn’t– it was failing like a mother fucker. but i just couldn’t give up…
Remember….. all or nothing.
4) In memory of my friend, Steve Gahl, who had to fall on his sword in order to kill the cancer in his body— i got a new tattoo. it’s so simple that i don’t even have to post a picture of it. “Fuck Cancer” on the ribcage for ultimate application pleasure. Steve…… Rest in Peace, my friend. I miss you and I miss our trips for burritos at La Taqueria in downtown San Jose (which also died recently, had it’s buildings architectural history ripped out and was replaced by a Carls Jr. Jeez…)
Steve didn’t have a funeral, and i’m thinking that i like the idea. No need to see a lifeless corpse and play sad….. This Friday is his “Life Celebration” party, and we’ll be sending him out his way.
5) Lastly, i had a good excuse– but i feel very lame for missing the annual TMR trip to San Felipe, Mexico. What’s TMR you ask? Well, let’s just say it’s a group of old lifelong friends. I could tell you more, but…
Im in omaha, nebraska tonight for work. thanks for keeping my mind off trouble, hookers, asians who i give roses to in my wifes dreams, and other things that she worries about when i’m traveling. Instead, im in my hotel room— naked– and thinking about you, the reader of this nonsense. Talk dirty to me…